i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
