TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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