ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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