was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
