sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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