she takes plan B like it's going out of style
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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