What did we do last night that was yellow?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
