I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
