East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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