its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I could fuck to npr.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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