i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
