We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
