i jhust puked up my retainher.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
