How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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