That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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