Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
