Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We were destined to go to rehab together
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
