it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
