And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just googled if crying burns calories
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
