Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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