yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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