yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
