I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
