U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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