but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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