this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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