So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
