did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
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sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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