I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I touched a dick in church today
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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