Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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