brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
