I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
