party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
