So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
worst night to have a conscience
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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