So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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