The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
