I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
