I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I love having hate sex.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
