the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize