Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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