Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Bring me that man meat
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
