Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sext me about skeletons
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize