Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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