I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
