Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
