if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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