I have demons in me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
