I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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