Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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