Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
