you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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