I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
