I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
