fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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