Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
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Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
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WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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