I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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