that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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