how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
