I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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