I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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